Lance Has Not Left the Building
“But does anybody else see the irony in all this like I do?” - Patrick O’Neil
And in the long run just what have you really done that deserves me, or anyone else really, to be taking up our valuable free time reading your book? Sure, sure, the Tour de France thing and the massive amount of physical training it takes and the few times that I actually watched the damn thing on telly it looked like you guys were being a tad imperious and let’s not even mention the animosity of nationalism that was sprouting up everywhere like a certain rally at Nuremburg some 60 odd years earlier!
"Those who want to live, let them fight, and those who do not want to fight in this world of eternal struggle do not deserve to live." - Adolf Hitler
But come now! Do you really expect us all to believe that “written by Lance Armstrong” tag plastered on the cover of your book? Now really? So who’s this Shelly Jenkins woman? Some “friend” like Ms. Crow? Or is she really the one who wrote the darn thing after she picked your diluted brain for minor details – like quoting you when you said intelligent things like "I had to learn to be smart" or when you affectionately called your ex-wife a “real stud”.
"He was like a mathematician, with the calculator every day. It was crazy." - Kristin Armstrong
Had I been actually able to read this book I think that I would still hold a bit of contempt for America’s newest fleeting hero; because as unintelligent as most jocks and athletes are Lance does nothing but reinforce these stereotypic perceptions, and in the end grubbing for our approval while boasting of heroic deeds it is but another example of the narcissistic tone of his degrading demeanor that a generation will hold dear as scared truths from a supposed noble source.
“The truth is, if you ask me to choose between winning the Tour de France and cancer, I would choose cancer. Odd as it sounds, I would rather have the title of cancer survivor than winner of the Tour, because of what it has done for me as a human being, a man, a husband, a son, and a father.” - Lance Armstrong
I think you forgot to mention being a multi-millionaire due to multi-national corporations and their lucrative sponsorships (Coca-Cola and Nike to name a few) - oh and Sheryl Crow’s stud muffin, eh Lance?
Alright so I hear everyone of you out there screaming because I’m not really being fair, and in reality what did our Lance do that was so bad? Doesn’t this capitalistic society of ours tell us to – go for it! And what is Lance doing but going for it? True. But do we all gotta buy into the unhealthiness of stardom? And what are the future Lance Armstrongs doing out there right now? Pedaling up and down those rural hills of America with their impressionable minds filled with hopes of unfathomable riches, a rock star girl friend and a nation of brainwashed individuals wearing rubber-bands inscribed with their names and singing their praises!
“All of a sudden, a figure moved up on my left. It was a woman in her 50s on a heavy mountain bike, and she went right by me.” - Lance Armstrong
Lance? You are so right it’s not about the bike! It’s about the all mighty dollar versus integrity and influencing others to do the same!
Please Lance – Leave the building already!
Guest Blogger: Fromage de Merde…