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Friday, February 18, 2005 

Marriage What it means.

OK, So I have not really been into this topic this week. Work has been a bear, I went skiing Wednesday, and I have been busy with some personal "stuff".
Great it has been 15 minutes since I started this post. I started then switched over to Freecell. I have a current streak going of 421 wins!!!! Please send emails of congratulations to my personal email. OK it has been another 5 minutes, I ran downstairs to get some breakfast, but enough with all the things that keep taking precedence over my blog for today. The reason I am not into this topic is because of my religious beliefs. My religion does not believe in marriage. No wait we don’t believe in reincarnation. So the actual reason why I am not into the topic is because of “The Princess Bride” (Only the most watched and quoted movie at BYU). I got so sick of people wanting to watch this movie, I have seen it 3 times tops, and if I never have to hear that guy say “Maweege” again I will die happy. That is basically what has turned me off to marriage.

And as to the topic for the week, if I never marry what does it mean?
Well it means I file my taxes as a single. It means that I may never get to claim any dependents. It means that I have to buy half as many groceries. I have my weekends free to go skiing, camping and generally whatever I want. It means that instead of some sort of democracy running the house, I have a monarchy in charge, and I am the King. It means there will be no fighting over the remote when I get home from work when I want to watch The Simpsons. I can watch all the Jazz games (EVEN THOUGH THEY SUCK). It means my parents will have to settle with the grandkids they have, and come on lets face it, my brother and sister have done more then there share. It means I get to sleep in on Christmas morning, and I can go straight up skiing. It means I can buy a $700 tent and have no one get mad at me.
And most importantly I get the joy of having everyone annoy me with there constant questions of who I am dating, when we are getting married and even why I am 32 and not married. That’s what it means if I do not get married.
I love it when people say that they are so much happier after marriage. As if your whole happiness in life depends upon you being married. If that were the case, then God would be a respecter of persons. I really do not think that God has reserved the soul happiness here on earth for married people, and the rest of us get the shaft. The happiness marriage brings may be a different type then the happiness I know, but I strongly believe that I can, and have found happiness, and satisfaction in my life as a single adult. There are many things that I have been able to do because I have not had the commitments upon me of marriage and family. I have enjoyed these experiences, and have grown and found happiness in many of them. I look forward to the time that I am married, and can experience all the joyous and pain that are associate with it. My advice to everyone is enjoy where you are at in life, because tomorrow it will change. And if it does not change, then maybe you need to do something about your life. One of the single greatest triumphs from human beings is to find true happiness in whatever life deals you. I can not tell my friends that complain about being single enough that they need to stop focusing on that, stop feeling sorry for themselves, stop basing their self worth on the fact that all their friends are married and have children, and they do not. Look at your life with joy, and if you don’t see any, FIND SOME.

Have a great presidents day weekend, enjoy yourselves, and remember who you are and what you stand for.

(Imagine me with deer-in-the-headlights look on my face...)

Free time all to myself? Not sharing the remote control or a bank account? Sleeping in? Not to mention no diapers, no snotty noses and no cleaning urine off the bathroom floor every day (toddler, not husband:) I'm speechless. Someone (Carrie Ann) please write a post about why my life is so great again?! It really is hard and not too much fun 90% of the time. But, I'm banking on the assumption that greater joy than I can imagine will be realized (while still in this life) because the opportunity came along for marriage for me and I took it. (My parents are always gushing about how much joy their children bring them.) I believe the pain, irratation, sadness, self-pity and frustrating repetitiveness of my job will eventually be balanced by the joy families bring. I catch glimpses of it every once in a while...I know it is there. But, Cameron, your deal is very tempting, too.

I especially liked this : "As if your whole happiness in life depends upon you being married. If that were the case, then God would be a respecter of persons. I really do not think that God has reserved the soul happiness here on earth for married people, and the rest of us get the shaft." Agreed. Happiness is found in different things depending on what our circumstances are in life. Single, married... no one has a corner on the market.

Love your refreshing male perspective on the topic, Cameron.

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Cameron, I think you are so right. Most people will never be happy if they spend their whole life waiting for something. Waiting to get married, waiting till there's enough money, waiting for memory foam....

I'm SO jealous....

Sandy

Cameron, Great Post! You discuss the issue with such bitterness and distain… “I’d rather be eating breakfast or playing pong then write about this drivel… mawwiage mawwiage BOO!” Beautiful words that make me laugh and I couldn’t agree with more!! It is true that if you don’t marry you miss out on certain things, but it is important to remember that if you do you ALSO miss out on certain things… such as the luxuries of being alone. YES LUXURIES! There are many wonderful things about being single. Thank you for pointing this out. Thanks Cameron.

I think the best thing about being unattatched to anyone is that I don't have anyone (other than my mother) telling me what to do and who to be. I like that I only have to listen to me. I like that I don't have to check with anyone when I want to do things. I like that there are no dipars to be changed. Someday, that will change, but for now... I'm enjoying myself and all this freedom.

Cameron... as always... NICE POST! You crack me up!

I have come to depend on Cameron's Friday post to bring logic to a sometimes out-of-control-blog week. Not so much today. He has insulted something so dear to my heart: Princess Bride. Pardon me, but I believe it's "Maawaage", not “Maweege”. =)

For your post on marriage: well done. Can I quote?... "My advice to everyone is enjoy where you are at in life, because tomorrow it will change." Whether it's marriage or other areas of your life, it changes quickly, unexpectedly, and it isn't always the change you're hoping for. By the way, it's almost never on your timeline.

Cameron, What do you say to those who call you a "Menace" for being over 30 and still single?

Do you think that all of the talks over the years about men having the responsibility to seek out a wife were inspired by God? If so, how can you justify your current attitudes?

so...Jess? The rest of us aren't logical? ;)

Great post, Cam. I love the them of: be happy with who you are and where you are. I always tell Sarah that I live vicariously through her singleness. heehee

Love the honesty. I really appreciate that you can enjoy where you are right now. That is the secret of life. I'm glad that you encourage your friends to follow suit. You are fortunate in all the ways you described.

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This Week's Topic:

  • The Sabbath Day

Various Authors

  • Monday:
    Kaycee opted out of Mormondom 4 years ago. She calls herself agnostic.
  • Tuesday:
    Sarah is not your average Gospel Doctrine Teacher.
  • Wednesday:
    Carrie Ann comes from pioneer stock, and lives in Provo, but is open minded and fair.
  • Thursday:
    Ned Flanders hasn't been to church in a while, but maintains an interest in all things Mormon.
  • Friday:
    John C. is an academic with a sense of humor and a testimony.
  • Saturday:
    JP's not going to church and feeling okay about it.

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