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Monday, February 07, 2005 

Why I'm Never Wrong

They say hind sight is 20/20, but is it really? If it is why do I continually make the same wrong mistakes over and over and over again (of course with a little variation each time)? Is it because there are not signs pointing, shouting, letting me know, “you already made this mistake, you already know how this turns out, do you really want to do it all over again?”

I don’t think it is a lack of signs. The signs are there, I am just not listening. You know the point in relationships where you have known your mate for so long that it is pretty simple to, unintentionally, tune out entire conversations you are supposed to be having with them? This is how I am with signs. The signs are there in front of me, as they appear I smile and nod my head, add an occasional “uh-huh” or an “exactly” but really I’m not listening. I have no idea what the signs are telling me because I am too busy focusing on the mistake I am about to make.

Why is this? Why is it that I can know what is right, but not always do what is right?

For one, it is a fear I have of missing out on something. I am so afraid that life may go on without me that I often make the obvious wrong mistake for fear of not getting to do everything, not getting to live a full life. I realize that I don’t have to do everything and that often times “life is what happens while you’re busy making plans” (oh yes, I did just quote Sex in the City), yet still I try, I try to do everything I can possible fit into my schedule.

A second reason I look “right” choices in the face and make the wrong one is out of complete stubbornness. I don’t want to believe that some of the things I desire are not good for me, possibly bad for me. For example a handsome, successful boy that I have nothing in common with is a wrong choice for a relationship, yet I make the mistake of trying to make it work too often. Deciding to write a blog that could possible take until 3 in the morning, or waiting until the night before book club to start the book when I have a busy work day ahead of me is not the right choice, yet I’ve done it and I know I will again.

Finally, I believe I am invincible, I know I am not, but as you can clearly see from the above excuses, I often believe that I am. I, unlike everyone else, don’t need sleep. I, unlike everyone else, can stay up all night writing and reading, work all day, over time too, and then play every evening. I, unlike everyone else, can date the wrong person and make them right. Of course these wrong choices become evident all of the time and one day I think I am going to learn, every day I think I get a little closer.

Sometimes the question is, how do you know when it is not right? The best way for me to make the right choice is to find the perfect balance between what is in my heart and what is in my head and go with that. Unfortunately, sometimes I confuse my desires for my heart. But when I don’t it is amazing how right my decisions are. When I have made a right choice, even the most difficult right choices of my life, I receive a certain comfort, a feeling inside that makes me know, “This one, Rebecca, was right.”

And so every day I’ll try a little harder to balance my heart and my head and allow it to guide me to be a better me, to a me that not only knows the right choice, but also makes the right choice.

This is so me, trying to be everywhere, do everything, and not miss out on everything.
So as we all set out to work on this MONDAY with the puffy eyes and headache from lack of sleep: have a great week! 

Posted by Jess

This sounds familiar . . . except that unlike you, who only think you're invincible, I actually _am_ invincible. I hope that clears things up for you. :)

Hey, we all make wrong choices, and amazingly many or even most people still manage to make more right than wrong choices. Call it what you will -- the Spirit, or karma, or dumb luck -- but most of us manage to do okay. Even if the good choices aren't always as consistent as we like to think we are. 

Posted by Kaimi

You may think you were quoting Sex in the City, but you were actually quoting John Lennon... m much more reputable source some might say ;)

I think so many of us have this "I must do everything" mentality. I know I do. For the past six months of my life I have blatantly been making mistakes in the name of experiance. It's been an interesting road, it's definently been an experiance making some really, really bad choices and then dealing with the concequences. I am not as invinsable as I thought I was. But, I again, can't get the words of Rainer Maria Rilke out of my head - "It is a matter of experianceing everything. You cannot now be given the answer because you cannot live it. Perhaps, some distant day, without even realizing it, you will find yourself living the answer." 

Posted by Sarah Marinara

Sarah said what I was going to say... that didn't come from Sex In The City. :) 

Posted by Aimee Roo

Man... Carrie Bradshaw is such a thieve. I need to be more careful when writing blogs while watching Sunday television. I almost wrote about Tom Brady and his right choice to have a hobby involving pigskins. 

Posted by Rebecca

What is good for us VS. What we want

Isn't that just the thorn in my paw? Have your cake and eat it too... That is this whole week's discussion in a nut shell. Thanks for being so eloquent, Rebecca. Now I will have nothing to write about by Saturday! 

Posted by Carrie Ann

Basically you've just written my post for me. HEY, thanks for doing that! ;)

You are just the coolest girl on the block. (And I can safely say this 'cuz we all live on different blocks.)

Whether you are quoting John Lennon or Carrie Bradshaw...I dig it. And it is so true. What is *RIGHT*? hmmmm.... 

Posted by JP

Becca Becca Becca, when will you ever learn?
Actually I am starting to think that I am the anti-becca blogger. Everything you blog I have to go the other way, and once again I am going the other way. I am the kind of person who can say "if someone else wants to do it.... LET THEM." I am glad there are people like you in the world, willing to go the extra mile.
It gets me out of the office and home early. Thanks Becca, thanks a heap! Keep on making those mistakes, cause you rock.
 

Posted by Cameron

Just call me Master of mistakes.

The one thing that I learned in my short life is that every correct decision made by man was based on valid information.

Now about repeating mistakes that you know are wrong to do is another story that is called an addiction to an expectation that one desires, which I have a black belt in. 

Posted by Rodrigo

We now pause these comments to bring you today's "missionary moment"...

As I read, "When I have made a right choice, even the most difficult right choices of my life, I receive a certain comfort, a feeling inside that makes me know, 'This one, Rebecca, was right.' "... I thought, gee, that sounds a whole lot like the Holy Ghost confirming a good choice in your mind and heart. And for anyone who thinks that is a load of hooey, don't you find it stange that this kind of peaceful confirmation when making "right" choices (that your head, as well as your heart know) is virtually universal? Come on - everyone has felt that. If it is not the light of Christ or the Holy Ghost, then what is it?

And now back to our regularly scheduled comments...

I really love this post: it is so open, honest and gets really to the heart of many of the discussions we have here. Ok, I guess my missionary moment isn't actually over... I appreciate your candidness about how you make decisions- it is something I think everyone can relate to. It also reminds me of some of the gifts of the Spirit described in D&C 46 (a good and interesting read). But I just found an even more poignant verse in Romans 10:10, "For with the heart men believeth unto righteousness..." Whatever we think it IS, aren't you glad we got "heart"?
 

Posted by Suzie Petunia

Suzie,

I understand your missionary desire, but really I don't attribute the feeling of making the right choice to the Holy Ghost or the light of Christ. I am glad you do, but I attribute this feeling to the accomplishment of understanding what is right and, even when it is difficult and not what I want to do, making the right choice - that creates a good feeling inside all on its own, don't you think?

When you know you have nailed an interview or passed a test with flying colors, or discovered that you have chosen your friendships wisely, do you attribute these accomplishments and feelings to the holy ghost as well, or the light of Christ?

You attribute your feelings to one thing and I another.

And yes I am extremely glad I have my HEART and MIND to guide me through life. It is often a task listening to the two, but I am glad I have them.
 

Posted by Rebecca

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This Week's Topic:

  • The Sabbath Day

Various Authors

  • Monday:
    Kaycee opted out of Mormondom 4 years ago. She calls herself agnostic.
  • Tuesday:
    Sarah is not your average Gospel Doctrine Teacher.
  • Wednesday:
    Carrie Ann comes from pioneer stock, and lives in Provo, but is open minded and fair.
  • Thursday:
    Ned Flanders hasn't been to church in a while, but maintains an interest in all things Mormon.
  • Friday:
    John C. is an academic with a sense of humor and a testimony.
  • Saturday:
    JP's not going to church and feeling okay about it.

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