Too Much to Take
I internalize A LOT. I’m very sensitive to many, specific things in this world. I worry about the craziest things. I worry about the poor guy stranded on the side of the road and hope that his day gets better. I worry about the lady in the mall who is scarred so badly, I cringe at the pain she must’ve felt that made the scars. I worry about the kids walking to or from school, by themselves, in the pouring rain. I worry about the dorky kid that probably gets made fun of and thrown in a trash can because that happens sometimes. I worry about all those crack babies that don’t have a chance…or the babies that don’t have enough to eat and go hungry to school everyday. And don’t even get me started on the worry that goes on for the little girls in Cambodia. I try not to watch too much news on TV because that just starts an entire downward spiral of worrying. You can see why each day I read from The Executioner’s Song, I walked away from it feeling so yucky inside that my mom actually grounded me from it.
Norman Mailer has an amazing gift of giving the reader the insight of each of the characters in this book. Without even finishing the book, I know more about Gary Gilmore than I EVER wanted to know. He is demented, evil, selfish and ruined so many lives, even his own. As good of a writer as Norman Mailer is, I still just cannot fathom taking another life. I cannot identify with a person who intentionally ruins another person’s life…and who does it repeatedly. The more I learned about Gary, the more it made me sick to my stomach.
Learning more about Nicole was no different, to be honest. I think learning more about her made me just as ill, but in a different way. Her actions and decisions are so far out of my realm of possibilities that I can no more identify with her than I can Gilmore. I felt so sad that the young girl had settled for a life of poverty, drugs, abuse and living with so many men that did her constant harm. I felt disgusted by her complete disregard for her children and their safety and well-being. How could a mother put her children in such danger? What part of this life led her to believe that all was okay? THESE TRUE-LIFE PEOPLE MADE ME NOT ABLE TO FINISH THIS BOOK!
This book (the parts I did read) was theoretically well written. I say “theoretically” because that man is a talented writer, but I couldn’t stomach the actual words that were written. Mailer wrote this book in a strange, detached way that makes some reader able to read with somewhat of the same detachment. Apparently Mailer just wasn’t a good enough writer for me to be able to do the same. This book attached itself to my spirit and just wouldn’t let go until I put the book down and away. I'm sorry, but I just couldn't do it.
But someday, let's talk about Norman Mailer's hair.