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Friday, April 08, 2005 

George Michael taught me everything I know about sex

How come the number of people commenting and the number of hits we get are 10 times as many during the week of the “Sex” discussion?

Well here’s my Friday ramblings, I hope they make sense. I did not really have a sex talk, so I am going to have to add some "filler"

I was a late bloomer. I was pretty busy in my high school years. Actually I slept through most of them. I woke up at 4:45 AM 5 days a week and went to swim practice, then to school, then to swim practice again, home to dinner, homework and bed by 9. I slept a lot because of swimming. I slept through dates, through class, and through church. Skiing was the only thing I can remember being fully awake for. But like I said, I was a late bloomer. I went on a handful of school dance dates and that was it. I went on my first no school date when I was 18. I had not kissed a girl till after my mission and my first real girlfriend was met until I was nearly 24. I just was not interested in relationships. I blame this on my mom. She used to answer the phone, and if it was a girl, she would tell them it was inappropriate for young girls to call boys. I had a lot of friends who were girls, but there was never any real advancement due to the embarrassment caused by those situations. I went to the “maturation talk” in 5th grade, all I remember is that my dad was the best volleyball player there (we played volleyball and had treats after). I also remember my teacher was female and she was at the talk. I could not look her in the eye after that night, I don’t know why. I never got the talk from my parents. My dad had talked a little bit after the volleyball game, and that was informative. But that was about it. My parents had tried with my older brother.
It went like this: They took him into the bedroom, closed the door. About 3 minutes late I remember hearing my brother laughing, my dad snickering, and then my mother yelling at both of them. It was a failed attempt. They gave up on me, and figured I would be in college before I could really get myself in any trouble. They were right.
So that’s the history of me and the “S” word.
I don’t have too many thoughts on the subject. It’s just a rule, or commandment. It’s not hard to obey. You just do it. After my mission I drove a shuttle from Sundance to the airport. (Great tips) One night I picked up three really hot 25 year old girls from NY. They got off the plane pretty tippsy. During the drive to the report it came up that I was LDS,

“You mean you don’t drink?”
“Nope”
“You don’t sleep around?”
“Nope”
“And you are not gay?”
“Nope”
“I don’t know how you do it. I can not go 1 day without sex and a drink”
The other two girls agreed with her. There were some jokes about them giving me a tip in another form if I were to come up to there cabin with them, I respectfully declined and told them I had tuition due next week, and I would prefer money.

I have thought about that a lot since then (not the invitation to join them). I thought how sad that they could not control themselves. That they could not take the urges and control them. These girls had no control on their lives.

I was thinking about sitcoms in the 80’s. Family Ties, Growing Pains, The Cosby Show, and I then I thought about shows in the 90’s and those of today. Friends, Senifeld, Will and Grace. What a contrast. How long would Family Ties last as a new show today? Well if you made Michael J Fox a Gay Democrat, and Mallory a lose slut who slept with everyone, (Not just Nick) and Jennifer, well they would have to get rid of her, then the show would be a hit.
What I am saying is that sex is everywhere. Its flashed before us every time we turn on the TV. I do not think it is as special a thing as it should be anymore. If you disagree with me, send me your email and I will forward all the junk email I get daily to you.
Maybe its time that people put more thought into chastity, and morality, and in abstinence. Maybe I can make a T-Shirt that says “Abstinence—it’s not just for Mormon and Baptist youth groups anymore”.

I hope I did not offend anyone, I mean, I really do think Family Ties would have been better with out Tina Yother.

You know Cam, you keep THREATENING to make T-shirts, but you've yet to pull through. I would totally wear the t-shirt you mentioned in your post. I would wear it EVERYWHERE. (I'm an XL and look good in black, red and green.)

Now I know how to keep my kids away from "compromising situations" when they are older: get them so involved in a sport - they won't have time for anything else! Thanks for the tip!

I completely agree with your comments about tv today. In my opinion, sex jokes and innuendos are the most base, low, and "easy" types of humor. (And by "easy" I mean it doesn't take much brain power to think of a joke about sex.) I'm most impressed by shows that are able to be funny and/or cleverly written and compelling without using s-e-x (or some form of potty humor) every other sentence. Like, for example...The Office, Lost, or 24 (that last one is for you, Cameron). And thank heavens for Nick at Nite with Cosby reruns. Those were the days...

Cam, you are so dang funny. I love your Friday posts...they make me smile!

By the way. I was not offended. The cute, little sibling was all Rudy from The Cosby Show...Tina Yothers didn't have a chance.

Also: Gay Democrat with the lose slut...sort of sounding like Will and Grace, really... ;)

I'd go in to business with you on the T-shirts...we'll have stick figures!

Since you took us down the path of skanky TV shows: I had friends gang up on me one time because of the sick love I have for F*R*I*E*N*D*S and Will & Grace. How could I watch such trashy shows? Yet these good members tried to justify why they go see R-rated movies.

I think I'm catching on the VSM pattern here. With everyone on different days, the typical week seems to break down in a predictable pattern. It goes something like this:

Monday: Becca gives a more or less levelheaded explanation of some topic. Being Becca, she also gives a little bit of envelope-pushing discussion, but it's more a tease than a real envelope pushing.

Tuesday: Sarah jumps in with enthusiasm and tries to build on Becca's envelope pushing. But being a good little Mormon girl, she doesn't _really_ push the envelope, she just acts like it.

Wednesday: Kaycee jumps in, and the wackiness really begins. She has Sarah's enthusiasm for pushing the envelope, without the Mormon boundaries. Discussion becomes quite lively.

Thursday: JP builds on Kaycee's and/or Sarah's posts and continues the general insanity. Whatever envelopes there are to be pushed, have been pushed.

Friday: Whiplash day. Cameron, red-faced from the crescendo over the week, says "you girls are all crazy!" and tries to go back to the fork in the road and take a new branch. He ignores the silliness of Sarah-Kaycee-JP and gives his own take on Becca's original post.

Saturday: By now all semblance of decorum is gone. And so what's left, but for Carrie Ann to hop in and agree with everyone, and cap it off by saying "wow, what a great week we've had!"

It's truly a dizzying ride . . .

:P

" red-faced from the crescendo"
That sounds like the last date I went on.

Dont get me mad about the T-Shirts, I am a single guy with a disposable income, (until June). I swear I will do it.

PS JP, I hated Rudy too, nothing cute about her, just annoying. I will tell you who was cute, Webster, or even Arnold from DIfferent Strokes

Kaimi,
I really don't think Carrie Ann always agrees with everyone. Her posts are always more thought-provoking than that. Besides, how fair is it to make the same person post last every week? The fact that she has as many unique things to say after 5 days on the same topic is a pretty amazing thing, if you ask me. It can't be easy.

Then again, maybe someone should shake things up a bit, if Kaimi's analysis is true.

Anybody else want to join the Carrie Ann fan club? I hear Cameron will make the t-shirts. :)

Have you ever been checked for low testosterone levels? Not meant as an insult. Really, have you?

Cameron,

Disposable income til June? Or single til June?

Anonymous: Yes I have actually

Marta: Single till June, and single after June, but a new home owner.

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This Week's Topic:

  • The Sabbath Day

Various Authors

  • Monday:
    Kaycee opted out of Mormondom 4 years ago. She calls herself agnostic.
  • Tuesday:
    Sarah is not your average Gospel Doctrine Teacher.
  • Wednesday:
    Carrie Ann comes from pioneer stock, and lives in Provo, but is open minded and fair.
  • Thursday:
    Ned Flanders hasn't been to church in a while, but maintains an interest in all things Mormon.
  • Friday:
    John C. is an academic with a sense of humor and a testimony.
  • Saturday:
    JP's not going to church and feeling okay about it.

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