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Wednesday, May 25, 2005 

For a Guy?

How have my relationships contributed to my spirituality and choices? Let's put it this way... if I'd never met my fiance, I'd probably still be active in the church.

His influence on me in that area of my life has concerned me from time to time. There have been occaisions when I was upset with him, and I thought "I left my whole religion for you." But that's not the truth. Even though I lost my faith as a result of introspection prompted by conversations with him, I didn't leave my religion for him.

I think that the difference between doing something for someone else and doing something because of thier influence on you is distinct, but not always to outside observers. I'm sure that when I was in the process of leaving the church people wondered why I'd do that "for a guy." That's what it looks like from the outside.

On the inside, it felt a lot different. I was spending all of this time thinking about how I lived my life and the choices I made. I was examining my own personal history with faith. I was looking at the future I imagined I'd have as an active member. After all of this thought and consideration, I made my choice.

Now, I would say that my relationships still affect my choices. I think I tend to be quite selfish and self-centered at times and my relationships with others reminds me of the way I want to be. Because of the example of selflessness and generosity demonstrated by my friends and family, I try to live my life with greater charity.

Mostly, I am continuing to learn to be a better person as a partner to my fiance. More than anyone else, his geniune thoughtfulness and generosity inspire me to always make choices that make people feel happy, comfortable and loved in the same way he strives to.

*Sorry for not posting earlier... my computer got sick with a nasty virus.

This was interesting and honest. I'm suprised that you say you would probably still be active if you hadn't met your finace. Considering your questioning of your faith etc. was it just a matter of time anyway? I would love to discuss this further sometime.

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This Week's Topic:

  • The Sabbath Day

Various Authors

  • Monday:
    Kaycee opted out of Mormondom 4 years ago. She calls herself agnostic.
  • Tuesday:
    Sarah is not your average Gospel Doctrine Teacher.
  • Wednesday:
    Carrie Ann comes from pioneer stock, and lives in Provo, but is open minded and fair.
  • Thursday:
    Ned Flanders hasn't been to church in a while, but maintains an interest in all things Mormon.
  • Friday:
    John C. is an academic with a sense of humor and a testimony.
  • Saturday:
    JP's not going to church and feeling okay about it.

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