If It Makes You Happy, Why The Hell Are You So Sad?
One of my favorite games to play is called, "From The Pulpit" I can't tell you the countless times I have sat around with my fellow Mormons and shared the tales of the shocking things we have heard people say over the pulpit in sacrament meeting. It is in the spirit of this game that I will share with you some of my top favorites and ask that you feel free to do the same in the comments.
Once while attending a family ward I watched a woman make her daughters boyfriend (who just happened to NOT be a member of the church) stand up and then told the congregation that he had been fornicating with her daughter, but she was confident he would join the church one day. Yeah... after that kind of public humilitation, I can't think that him joining the church would be the easiest of choices.
In the ward I grew up in, there was a sister who bore her testimony EVERY fast Sunday without fail. Usually it was fine, and sometimes even inspireing, but my senior year of high school she quoted Sheryl Crow's song "If It Makes You Happy" WORD FOR WORD... FROM THE PULPIT!
But hands down my favorite story was told to me by my old buddy Lyle. When he was serving his mission in Florida a woman stood at the pulpit and bore her testimony of how grateful she was that all of her children had been concieved through the hole in her one peice garment.
There you have it ladies and gentlemen, the reason bringing non-members to the first sunday of the month takes more moxie than any other. Feel free to share some of your favorite From The Pulpit stories... I'm sure there are MANY that are better (worse?) than mine.