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Thursday, May 19, 2005 

Me - Unplugged

I’ve reread my Introductory Post several times not knowing what I would write about. Even if I wanted to, I can’t change what happened. I did have sex before marriage, got pregnant, had a beautiful daughter, and then got married. Not your “normal Mormon order.” I can’t change the way I was treated or how much I hurt friends and family. I learned who my true friends were. I learned how many “fake” Mormons were out there and how many more that just did NOT know what to say…so they said nothing. I felt like an outcast. And yes, I stopped going to church. But all of those things are pieces of my life that can’t be changed. And I don’t think that any of it should be changed.

For the past five months I have loved writing here at Various Stages. I love this forum. I love learning about these amazing people. I love sharing our opinions and our differences. I love that I’m not judged for my opinion or for not going to church. I am honored to write with people who are so wonderful.

My brother is preparing to go on a mission. I can’t even describe how proud I am of him. Even though I’m not active in the church and I don’t think that I’ve been the best example, I’m excited for the choice that he’s made. Several weeks ago, he took me to lunch and it came up that he read my Introductory Post here at Various Stages. Being that he was only 10 or 11 when I got pregnant, he really didn’t see all the drama that went on. But that day at lunch, he told me how sad it made him how other people had treated me. I agree with him…it is sad. But I can only change how I feel about what happened in the past. I’ve learned so much about myself from writing here at VSofM about that time and I love the perspective it has brought me. Thanks for reading.

I admire your honesty, hon, and I'm so sorry you had a tough time.

When I was a young widow, I was totally respected and fawned over. Then when I remarried and got a divorce shortly after, I suddenly became a fallen woman, even a credit risk, so I know somewhat of your experience.

I read your post at first and sympathized and didn't know what to say. I learned the same lessons you did, still do, unfortunately (I'm a slow learner).

I kept going to church, still do, a little sadder, a little wiser. I reach out to others who I see going through the same struggles and over-ride the judgmentalism the best I can. But it isn't easy.

Your brother is one up on most of us, he's learned the lesson without having to experience the pain, except for his sadness for you. Life will happen sooner or later, it always does, but he is wiser than most for your experience. Thank you for your honesty.

I found out recently that our INCREDIBLE primary president had her first child "out of wedlock" and honestly, after knowing all that you had to go through, it made me respect her even more. It's a hard path you've had to walk. but it has taken courage to walk it and to share it...thanks, friend!

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Holy crap I feel old....I cannot believe he is old enough to go..I think he has been stuck at about age 6-7 for me for the past 10 years.

Now that that is done..I love your outlook on life and I am so happy to be one of the people who actually know you in person not just from your words..(eventhough they are always beautiful) I can't wait to see you in a couple months it has been so long.

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This Week's Topic:

  • The Sabbath Day

Various Authors

  • Monday:
    Kaycee opted out of Mormondom 4 years ago. She calls herself agnostic.
  • Tuesday:
    Sarah is not your average Gospel Doctrine Teacher.
  • Wednesday:
    Carrie Ann comes from pioneer stock, and lives in Provo, but is open minded and fair.
  • Thursday:
    Ned Flanders hasn't been to church in a while, but maintains an interest in all things Mormon.
  • Friday:
    John C. is an academic with a sense of humor and a testimony.
  • Saturday:
    JP's not going to church and feeling okay about it.

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