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Wednesday, May 18, 2005 

My True Identity

Sorry, folks... this isn't where I spill the beans on my name, rank and serial number. Being part of Various Stages of Mormondom over the past five months has allowed me to connect with part of myself, though, that I had been in denial of.

After I left the church, I stopped having contact with any church members outside of my family. I stopped because the people I was friends with were all really sad about my choice and felt obligated to try to bring be back into the fold. Unfortunately, when they did this, I got this used-car-lot-salesman vibe (when they went into "missionary mode") that made me uncomfortable.

Over the next several years, I had occaisional interactions with other former mormons (whom the faithful members call "less active members"), but they were just acquaintances. I realized that I missed an aspect of the culture.

I've described it like this before, and will again, but I felt like an immigrant to a new world. I still knew so much about the culture I came from... I speak the language, I know the customs, when the first Sundays of April and October roll around I know what it means. Just because I know all of these things, though, it doesn't mean that I want to go back.

What I've loved about Various Stages, and through it, the entire Bloggernacle, is reconnecting with my old culture. I'm able to be friends with Mormons who don't try to get me back to Sacrament meeting. I like discussing things from my oh-so-liberal viewpoint, because I'm practically a rebel in this media market.

It's also nice examining the beliefs I used to hold from my current perspective. I'm able to understand and come to terms with myself more.

Basically... Various Stages of Mormondom has been good for me. And let's face it... with Rebecca out of the picture... you all need someone impartially agnostic around here.

i agree. it is hard when you leave the church, there is almost an off switch that has to trigger to get you away form it. But once you have left it feel like something is missing. I miss many of my Mormon friends that i just can't keep knowing that they judge me and my new lifestyle. i can't help but wish i could have my cake and eat it too when it comes to Mormon culture.

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Yeah, so Kaycee we all got together in a secret room under the Tabernacle, and we decided we don’t want you back anyway. Nothing personal, its just well, you understand. I totally voted yes, and I fought for you, but in the end…..the whole, practically being a rebel in that media market thing was just too much for all of us uptight, Caffeine Free Coke drinking Utahans.
Of course you are always welcome to come to church with me. Cause I still love ya, and I am not disappointed in ya at all. As a matter of fact, I have a couple of friends I would like to have stop by your house, they have a book for you, one that can change your lif….. sorry, missionary mode.

PS, you are invited to the big Jack Bauer "24" BBQ next monday.

I'm glad you started hanging around the Mo's again... and by that I of course mean ME. :D

Hi! You do not know me, but I you too! Incidentally has gone on yours blog! Excuse, if what not so!

I must say that I know how you feel. In fact the very first thing that drew me to you was a post about you being the Mormon that is no longer Mormon. There is no way to separate ourselves from our upbringing. (I promise - I’ve tried many times.) While it is true that I am not a believer I am glad to be part of the Mormon community and I am glad that part of me will always be Mormon no matter what.

This is a very nice thoughtful revisit Kaycee!

I am happy that this blog has broken the ice so-to-speak with connecting to your peeps. We will always be your peeps, no matter what. A great VSoM question just popped into my mind: do you think it is harder for Mormons to be friends with former-Mormons than it is to be friends with people who never believed as we do aka non-MOrmons? Your post sparked a good thinking spell...

Interesting question Carrie Ann... great topic! I hope to see it on VSoM's list.

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This Week's Topic:

  • The Sabbath Day

Various Authors

  • Monday:
    Kaycee opted out of Mormondom 4 years ago. She calls herself agnostic.
  • Tuesday:
    Sarah is not your average Gospel Doctrine Teacher.
  • Wednesday:
    Carrie Ann comes from pioneer stock, and lives in Provo, but is open minded and fair.
  • Thursday:
    Ned Flanders hasn't been to church in a while, but maintains an interest in all things Mormon.
  • Friday:
    John C. is an academic with a sense of humor and a testimony.
  • Saturday:
    JP's not going to church and feeling okay about it.

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