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Monday, July 04, 2005 

I've Got the Chutzpah...But Not the Talent

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY! I really hope that you are not indoors reading this blog, but are outside DOING something fun and semi-patriotic….

I have had a guilty feeling for most of my life…I love to sing, but I won’t sing in church. If I am asked, I say no. Sometimes I am guilted into saying yes and the experience is humiliating and awkward.

I will sing in a choir on the stand, I will sing with the congregation in the chapel, I will sing with the young women in a classroom….all with gusto. But a solo?...not so much…

Here’s why and then why I feel guilty…

While I own a karaoke machine and an extensive collection of tunes, my singing is for me and me alone. Heavenly Father obviously planned it that way. That’s why he made my karaoke machine come with only one microphone… I sound AWESOME in my TV room belting away, but my voice LITERALLY changes when anyone besides my sister Abby is in the room. I can’t even sing in front of Todd. My voice goes all weird and stuff. Besides, there’s no good material outside of the traditional hymns and then classical stuff which is just plain out of my league. If there was a religious Broadway genre, I’d be all over it…

I feel guilty because I’ve had way too many “let your light so shine” talks in Young Women’s. Seriously, I think they plan those lessons to encourage shy teenagers to come out of their shells, but it’s bunk. It does NO ONE any good to suffer through your bad, cheesy song in sacrament meeting. Let’s face it, it’s awkward for everyone.

I don’t know why HF didn’t bless me with the pipes or the guts to belt out a good ballad…I sure have the chutzpah…but I guess there is a time and a place…it is not currently the right time for me to replace Barbara Streisand…she’s still alive and kicking…

I have been blessed in my life with different talents at different times. Looking back, I can see the purpose of doing certain things and the good that might have come by that. For example, I played the cello for 10 years and was never that good, but the people I knew and played with and the experiences I had playing then, where for my benefit and the benefit of others. I don’t have that talent right now, nor the realistic opportunity to pursue it, but that’s OK, that talent has served its purpose. I’m on to something else.

I don’t believe that we have to share our bad talents, or even our mediocre talents. We can if we want, but we don’t HAVE to. I think that if I ever want to share my solidly mediocre singing with the ward, I will have them make a note in the program:

“Sister Carrie Ann will be singing ‘Ave Maria’. She knows that her performance will be humiliating and slightly awkward for the ward audience, but she tells us that she has something to prove, so we’re letting her do this. Please smile at her encouragingly, and kindly hold the pity applause. Thank you.”

"I really hope that you are not indoors reading this blog, but are outside DOING something fun and semi-patriotic..."

Actually, I am working.

Oh...I am SO sorry...I would have made my post WAY less lame if I thought anyone might actually read it...Happy 4th Mr. Siever.

I don't get it, I have heard you and Abby doing karaoke together and you are both have amazingly good voices. So don't sing Ave Maria...do something with a little schmaltz to it.

I love your voice. It is very pretty and I am not lying even one little bit.

I must come clean that Mo and Suzie are blood relatives and therefore, their opinion of my singing does not really count...

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This Week's Topic:

  • The Sabbath Day

Various Authors

  • Monday:
    Kaycee opted out of Mormondom 4 years ago. She calls herself agnostic.
  • Tuesday:
    Sarah is not your average Gospel Doctrine Teacher.
  • Wednesday:
    Carrie Ann comes from pioneer stock, and lives in Provo, but is open minded and fair.
  • Thursday:
    Ned Flanders hasn't been to church in a while, but maintains an interest in all things Mormon.
  • Friday:
    John C. is an academic with a sense of humor and a testimony.
  • Saturday:
    JP's not going to church and feeling okay about it.

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