something must break
The other friend… In her post this week Kaycee mentioned psychopaths. This other friend, I wonder, was he always a psychopath? Is he really a psychopath? (I want him to be a psychopath; it’s more comforting to think that he’s always been mentally ill.) Currently I’m thinking he isn’t a psychopath, at least, not organically. Anything worth having in life takes work and he never wanted to do the work. The fantasy and the spectacle and the quick fun, he could never shake a sincere desire for them. I don’t know when he decided to trade it all in— could have been that he had everyone fooled for years (a likely possibility) or maybe one day after years of fighting he threw in the towel. At any rate, for a while there he was a true villain, and would still be but even a successful villain has to work at it; and his life has become truly so pathetic that there few left who can’t see through the ruse.
These two friends, they aren’t drug addicts, or alcoholics, their minds aren’t clouded from illegal substances; they aren’t thieves or criminals, they just didn’t want to do the work it takes to be a decent human being or even a half-decent human being or even 1/16 of a decent human being. I think the point of no return, it isn’t murder or adultery or any other sin like that; sometime after you decide to stop trying, one way or the other you permanently lose strength and control and clarity and that’s when there is no going back.
Enough dreariness. I’m going to get back to listening to The Best of OMD. That album is awesome!