Confession is Good For the Soul
Ironic that I'm confessing that I take pleasure in confessing, isn't it?
Really, though, I live my life in a way I'm not ashamed of... most of the time. When there are incidents that make me embarrassed, I tell everyone about them. This, in turn, makes them quite funny (most of the time). Case in point, last year when I first started blogging, I was convinced that I had somehow contracted ringworm (AKA "jock itch") on my face. It later turned out to be eczema, but by that point everyone knew that I had jock itch on my face. It was really funny to tell people because, not in spite of, the embarrassment it caused me.
I've really only adopted this attitude since leaving the church, though. While I was a member I confessed to the bishop on more than one occaision. In all instances, though, I felt that the bishop never viewed me the same way and didn't trust me in the same way. I viewed the callings I recieved as being related to these confessions and I never felt that the bishop viewed me or trusted me quite the same. This is all related, I think, to the feelings of judgement and the guilt associated with it that come with belief in a religion that requires repentance.
These days, when I confess, I'm instantly ridding myself of the internal shame I used to carry around with me. I make these confessions in the form on blog entries, telephone calls to friends and dessert conversation.
Nothing makes me feel so free as not having secrets because I'm just not afraid of what people will think. This doesn't mean that I confess every detail of my life, or even every thing that I'm ashamed of, but I get most of it out there... and laugh a lot more for it.