The Language Or The Kiss
I guess the biggest "false idol" I have is money. It's not that I worship it, it's not that I want lots and lots of it, more it's just that money is the one thing that can send me plummeting over the edge of reason and into the depths of insanity. Seriously, POOR DUSTIN! I have been an absolute WRECK about money since the MOMENT we got engaged. And let me tell you, it's like the whole financial world has been trying to thwart my happiness. Every single time I get to a point where I think, you know, we're gonna be okay... something TRAGIC happens to our bank account. Last night while driving to a friends house to barrow a drill Dustin and I had a long talk about our finances. I told him flat out that I wanted him to take the checkbook away from me and make sense of our financial situation. He smiled at me and said, "Sure! I'd be happy to do that. But you have to promise not to FREAK OUT whenever things are tight." Honestly, if we have less than $200 in the bank I start to hyperventalate. So, I promised. And we'll see how things go.
More than false idols though, I think it's the pet sins that we have that keep us down. Everyone has them, and everyone struggles with them. If you didn't have a pet sin (a sin you love and hate) then you would be translated. Personally, mine is cussing. Probably the worst thing since I am a writer and a talker and should have just that much more respect for language. But I love me some cuss words. It's just one of those things. I grew up in a house where cussing was normal - we all did it, no big deal. And I have never once had a problem with someone else cussing (whatever blows your hair back has been a mantra of mine). That is until a few weeks ago when my husband to be said "bitch". I seriously almost came out of my skin! And we got into an argument about it (he didn't call me one, or anyone else one for that matter, it was just the fact that IT CAME OUT OF HIS MOUTH AT ALL!) and he told me that if I could say it he could say it. I promptly shot back that it wasn't within his charecter to say it... it's just NOT something HE would say because he is GOOD, and WONDERFUL, and LOVELY! - it was something I would say!! He thought about it for a second and agreed that was true. But then, he looked at me and said, "But really, you shouldn't be saying it either." And so, once again, my struggle with foul language is going strong. How do you not say "shit!" when you stub your toe? I mean, seriously!
I have other pet sins, as everyone does. But there are some that you struggle with more. Some that you have a REAL hard time letting go of. Those pet sins, those things we know are wrong, but can't help doing anyway no matter how big or small they are, those are the things we really worship, the idols we pray to. It's just a matter of growth, a matter of learning day by day to let things of this world go and change into someone a little bit more like our Heavenly Father. It's about learning to worship the true Lord of all, and not just the lords of right now.