Love Is Just Like Breathing When It's True
I am 27 years old.
I LOVE that I am and 27 years old and getting married in 16 days.
True, every moment of these 27 years hasn't been me all smilely and happy, just waiting for Mr. Right to come along. There has been pain, heartbreak and the numerous other things that help you grow and develope as a human being. I wouldn't trade any of it.
On Sunday I stood and bore my testimony. I didn't think I would ever say that whole, "This is my last fast Sunday in this ward because I'm getting married" testimony thing. But I did. I bore my testimony of what I know is true - that Heavenly Father loves us, and wants good things for us, and gives us what we need when we are ready for it. Dustin and I have talked numerous times about how we wouldn't have even given each other a second look had the timeing of our relationship not been so perfect. Heavenly Father knows what he is doing.
If there is one regret I have, it is the years I spent thinking that I somehow lacked worth because I wasn't married. From the time I was 20 to 21 all of my very close friends were married (they being of the same age as I) . I felt terrible that I couldn't get a DATE let alone find someone who would want to marry me. At 24 I was breifly engaged to a pretty not nice guy simply because I thought there was no one else who would marry me. Luckily, I came to my senses about that and called the whole thing off. The day after the call off, my good friend Paul gave me a blessing. It told me that the time for me to be married was short at hand, and I would be surrounded by more love than I had ever imagined possible. I almost thought I would walk outside and there would be a handsome man with roses waiting to wisk me off to the temple and love me for eternity. But he wasn't waiting outside the door for me, he didn't show up for another 3 years. But what I was told in that blessing (and subsiquent blessings) holds true. I have been loved more than I ever thought humanly possible. I don't deserve the amount of kindness and affection Dustin gives me every day.
I am very happy that I have had 27 years of my life to figure out who I am. I am coming into my marriage with a knowledge of my worth, a strongly defined sense of self and a deep appreciation for the man I will call my husband. I honestly don't believe that I could have brought these things to the table if I was to have married at 20 or 21. I am very happy that I have waited to this age, through these life experiances, to become a wife.
If I could change one thing it would have been this... the length of my engagement. From "will you?" to "I Do" will be four months. I NEVER thought I would be engaged this long, and let me tell you, it has not been very fun. I think I could easily advocate the two week engagement. Sure, Dustin and I would have only known each other a month at that point, but honestly, it would have been a WHOLE lot easier than the last three months. ANYTHING would have been eaiser than that. :)