A few years ago we lost our son. I was devastated and that Mormon comfort that most everyone seems to get after losing someone, that comfort in knowing that in the next life angels would be singing the soundtrack from “Together Forever” and everyone would be reunited and happy and do whatever it is you do in heaven--I never got that comfort--though I desperately wanted it. I received no confirmation of any of it.
I don’t debate it much anymore. I think we have a natural inclination to believe there is an afterlife. In casual thought, sure, I believe. When I really start to think about it I realize that I don’t have any reason to believe. I just don’t debate it anymore.
The afterlife used to hang before me like a Celestial carrot, leading me on to do good, sacrifice, improve myself so that I could receive my reward, and be with those that I love. Now I see that doing good, sacrifice, improving myself are their own reward, and bring rewards in this life. Living the gospel has brought me to enjoy life more fully, enjoy the company of others more fully. If we live on after we die, all the better; but I’m not holding my breath