Sometimes It's Okay Not to Have All the Answers
About four years ago, a 15 year old boy named Ian took his own life because he felt there was no other way out. Also around that same time, one of my dearest friend’s dad very unexpectedly (he was in perfect health) collapsed and passed away. These two people did not go to church or have any religion that they were believers of. I honestly don’t know if they believed in God or not.
I struggled much with Ian’s death. I used to baby-sit him and his brother. And while it was obvious that Ian struggled with much and had several mental issues all his life, it was still such a shock and so upsetting and I struggled with the thought of him not only taking his own life, but what would happen to him in the afterlife. So did Ian’s mom. My friend, who is a devout and very faithful Christian, struggled even more with the thought of her dad not accepting Christ before his died. She believes that you won’t have another chance once you pass on from this earth and was just sick with worry about his salvation.
Obviously, none of us 100% sure what happens when our life here on earth is complete. But for those two people who, it would appear, had no faith in God to speak of, was that the end? Did their chance pass? Especially because Ian committed suicide. Many people believe they can’t be “saved” from that point on.
Those deaths, especially Ian’s, bothered me so much that Sarah sent me a story that a LDS writer, Robert Farrell Smith, wrote after his sister committed suicide. He struggled with some of the very same thing that I mentioned and went through so much trying to deal and accept the death of his sister and to also try and get a handle on what happens after we die. In a dream, he saw his sister sitting next to him in the church they grew up in. With her arm around him she said, "Don't worry, Heavenly Father has it all figured out."
I know that I don’t have all the answers. I do find comfort and strength and put my faith in the fact that Heavenly Father does have it all figured out. At the end of Mr. Smith’s story he says,
“I also know that it's up to me to … understand that Heavenly
Father has it all figured out. Not in ignorance, but in awe. We're
lucky to be alive. I can't wait to see what happens."