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Tuesday, September 13, 2005 

This Is Not The End

When I was 5 years old my youngest sister died. She never came home from the hospital, in fact, she didn't live long enough to come out of my mother. She was stillborn. I remember the excitment that had built up waiting for her to be born. We were all so excited for the new addition to our family. But instead of bringing home a baby, my parents brought home a lot of heartache and the only evidence there has been of the little girl who never made it to our home, her footprint on a peice of paper with her name Megan Lee written above it in my mother's shakey script.

I remember the funeral. I remember my little sister figeting next to me, the songs that were sung, the little white casket, the way my mother couldn't stop weeping. I remember the years after her death where my family tried to rebuild itself from the emotional rubble that was left after such a terrible heart break nearly destroyed us. I remember visiting her grave in my youth, and being scared and sad. And I remember going to that same grave as a grown-up and thinking about the sister I didn't get to grow up with but who, someday, I will get to know because of the first thing I can remember: my family being sealed for eternity in the temple.

The first memory I have is of walking into a sealing room in the Oakland temple, seeing my parents and thinking how pretty my mom looked, and then being sealed to them - being bound to them for eternity.

A few weeks ago I walked out of that same temple, but this time I walked out sealed to a new family, a family that is organic to me and my husband. I walked out of that temple with a promise, that if I do the things I know are right, if I make my best efforts, and recognize and repent when I don't - because I won't always do the right or best thing - then I get to be with my husband and the family we'll create forever. I don't have to worry about never seeing him or my children again. I will get to hold his hand for eternity. And I love that. I love that I don't have to worry about never meeting my sister, we will have an eternity to get to know each other. There has never been anything that has made more perfect sense to me than the gospel of eternal families.

I know there is life after death, I know the sealing power of the temple is real, I know family is not just a here and now thing, it's a forever thing... and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Losing a child (whether they are old or young) has to be one of the most devestating losses. Isn't the concept of an eternal family comforting?

what a beautiful post, it really touched me, thank you. I agree that knowing that my family is eternal is very comforting.

I had a son that was stillborn. In a few weeks, it will have been five years ago. I can't even TYPE this without tearing up...

When we first learned that he wasn't living, the first thing I said to my husband was, "Thank goodness we're sealed." I am comforted in knowing that by getting married in the temple, and by sealing our family, I've done everything I could have done for him. Well, almost everything: In the area of the cemetery where he is buried (called Babyland, for those of us without family plots), there is a headstone that reads: "We have a renewed desire to pass our earthly test."

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This Week's Topic:

  • The Sabbath Day

Various Authors

  • Monday:
    Kaycee opted out of Mormondom 4 years ago. She calls herself agnostic.
  • Tuesday:
    Sarah is not your average Gospel Doctrine Teacher.
  • Wednesday:
    Carrie Ann comes from pioneer stock, and lives in Provo, but is open minded and fair.
  • Thursday:
    Ned Flanders hasn't been to church in a while, but maintains an interest in all things Mormon.
  • Friday:
    John C. is an academic with a sense of humor and a testimony.
  • Saturday:
    JP's not going to church and feeling okay about it.

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