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Tuesday, October 04, 2005 

Sundays With Sarah

7:30 am - Wake Up, wake husband up.

7:40 am - "Quality Time" with husband.

8:10 am - Shower, primp, etc.

8:30 am - Breakfast (or if it's fast Sunday, smell things in the fridge.

8:50 am - Leave for church; argue about who gets to drive; ultimently win arguement again.

8:55 am - Arrive at church, sit in the same pew we've sat in since the first day in the ward.

9:00 am - Sacrament meeting - usually involves some eye rolling on my part and writing notes to my husband that read things like, "Is this guy SERIOUS????"; think about how hot Hell will be as I burn there.

10:10 am - Sunday School - usually, husband and I are so bored with the dry and Spiritless lesson that we write notes, name our hypothetical children or talk about what we're going to eat when we get home bringing us one step closer to Hell.

11:10 am - Relief Society - eye rolling and deep sighing continue as woman make me feel like there is no doubt I will be going to Hell; try to think that I'm almost there, and soon I will be home and able to eat.

12:02 pm - RUN into my husbands arms and RACE for the exit before anyone tries to talk to us.

12:07 pm - Get home, get out of church clothes, EAT!!!!!

12:30 pm - "Quality Time" with husband

1:30 pm - Nap

3:00 pm - Wake up, read book of choice, nibble on whatever looks good.

5:00 pm - begin making dinner (although, usually it's a crock pot dinner so I don't have to interupt my reading time)

7:00 pm - Dinner, discuss with husband the weird people at church, laugh heartily, think more about eternal damnation that is eminent

7:30 pm - husband plays video game, I watch TV or DVD

8:30 pm - husband joins me in living room, watch TV or DVD, make out like teenagers

10:00 pm - Go to bed.

11:04 pm - Sneak out of bed for something sweet.

11:15 pm - Return to bed, fall asleep and try not to dream about weird church people.

My time at church sounds exactly like yours. A lot of eye-rolling, whispering to my husband, thinking about eating, and making fun of the weird/boring people. I am glad I am not the only one. See you in Hell.

Only 2 sessions of "quality time" on a Sunday? I thought you were newlywed!! ;)

Let's be honest, there IS more, but I was doing a little self editing on behalf of my readers. Let's be honest, between this post and the last post on my own website, I've been talking about "quality time" A LOT.

wow. that is brutally honest. and wickely funny. you just can't make this stuff up. good times.

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This Week's Topic:

  • The Sabbath Day

Various Authors

  • Monday:
    Kaycee opted out of Mormondom 4 years ago. She calls herself agnostic.
  • Tuesday:
    Sarah is not your average Gospel Doctrine Teacher.
  • Wednesday:
    Carrie Ann comes from pioneer stock, and lives in Provo, but is open minded and fair.
  • Thursday:
    Ned Flanders hasn't been to church in a while, but maintains an interest in all things Mormon.
  • Friday:
    John C. is an academic with a sense of humor and a testimony.
  • Saturday:
    JP's not going to church and feeling okay about it.

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