Wait In The Fire
It is for similar reasons that I don't watch the news. I can't handle real life tragedy broadcasted to my living room. There is a sadness that seeps into my skin from the tales of woe and heartache of strangers, and honestly, there are so many people I know and love who must struggle with their own heartache, I can't handle the burden of strangers, it is too much for me.
Dustin and I were on our honeymoon when Hurricane Katrina hit. We had no idea it had even happened until we returned home and witnessed the aftermath of it all in the papers and on every television channel and every radio program. One of my bridesmaids and dearest friends, Tifferbob, was living in Mississipi at the time, and because she was here for my wedding, she was stuck. She couldn't get back to her husband for weeks. Finally, she was able to get a flight into Texas and her husband drove for 10 hours to pick her up. Once electricity and phones were restored she started sending me emails about the people that had shown up to help, the people who had looked this tragedy in the eye and realized they could do something to make it less of one. She talked about the good and the bad of that time, and I sat in my warm dry home thousands of miles away and lapped up her words of hope. She was living in the midst of catastrophic tragedy, and throught it all she found something deeper than the pain of destroyed homes, a husband out of work, neighbors who had died. She found something to take her through that tragedy and on with the rest of her life. Tiff thanks her faith for getting her through, and I find so much in that statement. She credits God for getting her through the two days she didn't hear from her husband. I can't tell you how impressed I am with her attitude.
I am somewhat of the opposite of Tiff. When I experiance something I think of as a personal tragedy I weep, wail, curse and beg the question what have I done to deserve this. I don't often see the fact that I'm growing, being pulled and stretched, being molded into something greater than I was before. It is painfully difficult for me to see that any good at all could come from something that hurts so much, or interfers in the plans I had laid. I've said it before and I will say it again, but I do NOT handle difficulty with much grace. I am slow to be grateful for the good, I tend to focus on the tragedy and not on the things that are going right. I hope that I am changing from this little by little. I am learning to be more graceful and grateful. I am learning about the silver lining - it's there, you just have to brave enough to look for it.
I'm grateful for the examples I have in my life of people who are graceful under fire. They make me want to be better when the tragedies of my life happen, they make my want to possess what they have: grace.
Posted by Sarah