My whole life I doubted someone would be foolish and/or desperate enough to marry me. And then The Most Wonderful Man in the World happened across me, thought I was insane, called me back anyway, and then married me! After we got engaged (a mere 15 days after we met - another thing I highly doubted I would ever do) I felt HORRIBLE for all the times I told Heavenly Father that he was mean and uncaring and had utterly abandoned me. I had doubted the things that had been promised to me time and time and time again. I had had numerous blessings tell me that I would meet a wonderful guy who would love me just the way I am and I acutally SCOFFED at these. I rolled my eyes and said to the heavens, "As if someone could actually love ME!" But low and behold, I sit here today a Mrs. of a Mr. who happens to think I'm highly loveable even when I am cranky. And that is more often than I care to admit.
From my first menstration to about two and a half months ago I highly doubted that I would ever be a mother. I didn't think I would be able to get pregnant, and if I did I would loose the baby and that would be unbearable and I would take to my bed and never again have sex because it would be too painful to try again. (Yes, I was known as a drama queen and yes, I was simulaniously doubting that I'd get married and then thinking that even if I did get married I would be barren. I was on pills for this craziness for a while. Things are better now, don't worry.) But yet again, all that doubt and worry waS for not. I got pregnant the first time we tried with that end in mind. That only happens to 3 in 10 women! And yet here I sit, growing a baby and being married and having a life I never dreamed of.
I always doubted I could be happy. But now I know that's not true. I know that being happy is a choice. I can sit and stew in a life of doubt and uncertinty or I can just try to do my best and see what happens. So far, it's been a far superior way of life.
Posted by Sarah